Casino Proposal - SNL

>> HEY, BARTENDER, I'LL TAKE. ANOTHER ONE., >> HONEY, SITTING HERE AND. GETTING WASTED WON'T CHANGE ANYTHING., >> I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO,, JOE. >> WHY WOULD YOU GO ALL IN ON A PAIR OF FOURS?. >> IT'S CALLED BLUFFING, BABE. ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME FEEL, WORSE?, >> I'M JUST TRYING TO. UNDERSTAND.. >> ALL YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND IS. OUR SAVINGS IS BACK TO ZERO., SO WE CAN FORGET ABOUT BUYING A, NEW HOUSE.. YOUR DAD IS RIGHT. I'M NOT A MAN., I'M JUST A LITTLE FAT GIRL.. >> ROUGH NIGHT?. >> WHAT?, >> ROUGH NIGHT?, YOUR NIGHT, IT'S ROUGH RIGHT?, >> I'M NOT IN THE GOOD TO TALK,. BUDDY., THANKS.. >> IS THAT YOUR WIFE?, >> YEAH., THAT'S MY WIFE., >> SHE'S BEAUTIFUL., >> BUDDY, I ASKED YOU TO NICELY. LEAVE US ALONE, OKAY? >> LOOK, I DON'T WANT ANY TROUBLE, BUT I'M A VERY, VERY. WEALTHY MAN, AND I THINK YOUR. WIFE IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN I HAVE EVER LAID EYES ON.. >> WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME?, >> LET'S JUST GO BACK TO THE. ROOM. >> WHAT DO YOU WANT, MAN. >> ONE NIGHT WITH YOUR WIFE FOR, $2,000., >> YOU KNOW WHAT?. I'M ABOUT TO FISTFIGHT YOU,. DUDE.. >> WELL, HOW ABOUT $5 MILLION? >> $5 MILLION?

>> LIKE I SAID, I'M A VERY, VERY. WEALTHY MAN., >> UH-HUH.. THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY JUST TO SLEEP WITH ME.. >> YEAH.. PLUS, I COULD PROBABLY DOUBLE IT, PLAYING BACK.. >> THAT'S ALREADY MORE THAN ENOUGH MONEY.. >> I MEAN, YOU WOULD HAVE TO. SLEEP WITH A GUY.. >> WELL -- >> ARE WE DOING THIS?, >> I MEAN, IT'S $5 MILLION.. >> HOW ABOUT $10,000?. >> WHAT HAPPENED TO THE $5 MILLION?, >> OH, SO WE'RE NEGOTIATING., FINE.. LET'S MEET IN THE MIDDLE.. $20,000. >> HOW IS THAT THE MIDDLE? >> YEAH, LOOK., I'M NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU FOR. ANY AMOUNT OF MONEY, SO JUST GET, AWAY FROM US.. >> NOT EVEN FOR $6 MILLION?, >> ARE YOU ACTUALLY OFFERING US, $6 MILLION?, >> EVEN BETTER.. I'M OFFERING YOU $50,000.. >> WAIT.. HOW IS THAT BETTER?. >> IT'S EASIER TO CARRY., >> DUDE! DUDE, LOOK, I'M GIVING YOU TEN, SECONDS.. >> DEAL.. SOLD.. I ONLY NEED EIGHT. >> I MEANT FOR YOU TO GET AWAY, FROM US., >> FINE, FINE, FINE. ONE NIGHT WITH YOUR WIFE FOR, THREE MILLION DOLL HAIRS.. >> ARE YOU SAYING DOLL HAIRS OR. DOLLARS?. >> OH, BEAUTY AND SMARTS., I LIKE THAT..

>> BARTENDER, COULD WE GET THE. CHECK, PLEASE?. >> LOOK, I'M A VERY WEALTHY MAN.. I WILL GIVE YOU $600,000 FOR ONE, NIGHT WITH YOUR WIFE., FOR REAL., LAST OFFER, NO JOKE., >> NO.. >> BABY, THINK ABOUT THIS. THAT'S STILL A LOT OF MONEY., >> I MEAN, WE COULD GET THE. HOUSE AND I COULD ACTUALLY GO TO, COLLEGE. >> SURE.. AND IT'S ONLY FOR ONE NIGHT., >> I LOVE YOU., >> I LOVE YOU, TOO. >> OKAY., $55,000 CASH.. >> WHY DO YOU KEEP CHANGING IT? >> YOU KNOW WHAT?. LET ME SEE THE MONEY. >> THE MONEY? >> YEAH, THE $55,000 IN CASH I WOULD LIKE TO SEE WITH MY EYES., >> WELL, IT IS IN THIS. BRIEFCASE., >> WHAT BRIEFCASE?. >> YOU ARE NOT HOLDING ANYTHING. >> Y'ALL GOT VENMO. WHAT IF SHE HAD SEX WITH ME., >> THAT'S ALREADY WHAT YOU HAVE. BEEN ASKING.. >> BARTENDER, CHECK PLEASE! >> FINE. I WILL PAY THE CHECK, BUT YOU. HAVE TO WATCH ME HAVE SEX WITH YOUR WIFE., >> NO! >> OKAY, FINE., NO SEX, BUT YOU PAY FOR MY CHECK. THEN. >> NO., >> OKAY, FINE. I'LL BET YOU $100 THAT I CAN SLEEP WITH YOUR WIFE. >> DEAL.. >> NO!. NO MORE GAMBLING!. >> ENOUGH.